We all want love. We all need love. We all need to be loved for who we are. Not by presenting who we think others want us to be.
As a reader, the hardest thing is to tell someone is that a love is not going to work out. Especially when the person on the phone is already quite upset and doesn’t want to hear it.
The wise ones all speak the truth. Love is who and what we are at our core. It’s the stuff we’re made of.
If we look outside of ourselves for too long, we’re sure to get burned. Healthy love relationships are a give and take of this love that we already are.
Of course, in this world, nothing is perfect…
Red Flags And The Planet Earth
When it comes to the age old question of should you stay or go, preventative medicine is worth a pound of cures. Easier said than done, I know 🙂
Sometimes, we want love so badly we compromise what’s important to us. We overlook things. I call them “red flags.”
We can love someone all we want — but there are practical earthly considerations (at least while we’re here on earth!) to take into account.
For example, if it’s important to us (a “deal breaker”) to have lots of children, and the other person doesn’t want any kids — and we wait a year or two into the relationship to discuss this and find this out — well, that can lead to a lot of heartbreak and misunderstanding.
Better to find out these things in the beginning stages.
What if he or she is a flirt and it makes you uncomfortable? You may fool yourself into thinking you can change them with enough of your love. Nobody wants to be changed or “fixed.” And, for the record, that’s not the kind of love most people want.
Can A Leopard Change It’s Spots?
You know the answer to that. And yes, people can and do change for the better. That’s what working on ourselves is all about. But at the same time, our basic temperament doesn’t really change that much.
If he’s likes to drink, gamble and womanize when you meet him, that’s unlikely to change.
If he used to do those things a few years before you met, but made his own decision to change and got some support or therapy, that’s quite different.
My point is, be aware, alert and honest with yourself for any behaviour patterns at the beginning of your dating or relationship.
Granted, in the dating stage, some “game” playing is part of it —but your gut instincts will tell you.
Of course, compromise, tolerance and acceptance of our differences via unconditional love is the foundation for healthy relationships.
Another example. I don’t drink or smoke. Period. It’s simply what works for me. I live a spiritually and heart centered lifestyle, but in an urban environment. I couldn’t be with someone who drinks. Even if it’s only socially. It’s my dealbreaker.
In order to attract my ideal soulmate, I needed to 1) clean up my own act 2) tap into my manifestation powers 3) Let go of the outcome as best possible.
sidenote: We’re going on 10 years now. We’re 2 different people, but our common points and values are strong. I love her more now than in our honeymoon phase 🙂
Also be aware that it can take up to fully 2 years for the person’s true self to show up. In the beginning they will be wearing the masks we all wear in order for others to “like” us. That’s what the so called “honeymoon stage” is all about.
Take Home Lesson
Sometimes love isn’t enough. Our minds have an unconscious belief that if we just hold on and love that person, they’ll come to us. Or change for us. It’s kind of like a spell we think we can cast.
It usually backfires. Besides, wouldn’t you prefer someone to simply love you just because they want to? Not because of anything you had to manipulate or control?
Better to walk away, clean up our own act and focus on gratitude, tap into our powers of manifestation and be our best version of the ideal soulmate we want to attract. Trust.
If you’re reading this and you’re struggling right now, that’s where talking to a psychic/spiritual advisor like me or Mary Rose can help. Not only can you get some insight and clarity into your situation, but you can get some spiritual guidance and support to help you through any difficulties.
Letting go — even when we know it’s for our best interest — can sometimes be the most difficult challenge we face in life. But it can be done. You will come out the other side.
You need a fierce compassion with yourself. You’ll need some tools (meditation/prayer or emotional therapies (self help books are good too), exercise, good nutrition, etc.) It will be uncomfortable. But the sun will rise again after this dark night of the soul.
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