Intro: Exactly what is a soulmate? There’s a lot of info on the internet about twin flames, karmic flames, etc. And this is all fine and good.
There are many types of soulmates. Family, friends and children can be included. But for our purposes here, a soulmate is someone with whom you feel a deep, heartfelt and soulful connection.
Someone with whom you feel it is possible to create a lasting, loving, passionate and awesome relationship.
Why Haven’t I Met My Soulmate? There a several reasons why you are not with your soulmate.
These can be for reasons that are out of your control such as divine timing.
These can also be for reasons that are within your control such as deep down inside not believing you are worthy of love.
Divine Timing: This involves our past lives and karma. Forces have been set into motion that need to find a resolution. We may need to wait longer than we
like in order to find our true soulmate. We may need to have our hearts
“broken” but fear not! The Universe (God, Divine Intelligence, The All, The Quantum Self, etc.) is expressing Itself through us as us.
It has our highest good in mind all the time. Sometimes we may not get what we want.
Take a moment now to reflect on your life. A time where you thought you wanted something and it didn’t work out how you originally wanted.
In hindsightit’s usually easier to connect the dots and see how it was all for our highest good.
It made us stronger, or more loving. Wiser and more compassionate. More capable of being grateful for what we have.
At other times, maybe our soulmate is being manifested into our lives. We’re doing everything we can to align with the force of Love within us. However, due to
the circumstances which need to unfold in order for that person to arrive in our life, it may take time.
In reality, there is no time and space. But we need to experience ourselves as limited in time and space in order to realize the infinite potential of who we really
are. Our true selves reside outside of time and space already whole and complete.
Spiritual and Personal Growth: This brings us to things that are within our control. How we react to circumstances in our lives.
This is under the category of spiritual and personal growth. Sometimes we go through challenges and hardships because the Universe ( with our highest good in mind) is trying to show us what we need in order to grow. What our blind spots are.
How does this play out?
Let’s say you’ve invoked the Law of Attraction in order to
magnetize your ideal soulmate. Let’s say you even follow through by taking action.
You join a community club, a dating service, or somewhere where you meet some
people. You go on some dates.
Let’s say most of these dates are duds (not dudes, duds!). And you feel you’re
wasting your time. But then one day at the market, you bump your cart into an
attractive person. You start chatting with them and feel an immediate and intense
attraction. You exchange numbers and start dating.
After a month or so this person suddenly grows distant. They don’t reply to your
texts or emails as often. They seem to have a wall around them. Why is this?
This is NOT some sort of punishment. You are NOT a victim of life. You are a true
co creator of your life.
However, due to the combination of nature and DNA, past
life issues and the beliefs and habits you’ve picked up in this life time (mostly from
family butalso teachers, society and your own life experiences) you are not
resonating in the true belief of someone who is capable and deserving of being in
a lasting and loving relationship.
So you attract someone who is going to reflect that belief back to you. Sometimes
these patterns are very difficult to see. Much easier to see in others than in ourselves.
That Pesky Ego: Why are they so darned difficult to not only see, but to change?
This is because these patterns and beliefs form a false identity in our psyche
known as the ego. WAIT! The ego is not all bad. Without it, we couldn’t function on
the earthly plane. We wouldn’t know our names or be able to function is even the
most basic of ways. Even the most peaceful of people on this planet still have an ego. It’s just much less of a “problematic” ego
than most people.
The ego gets a pretty bad rap these days. In our experience, when people refer to
the ego what they really mean is those negative programs and beliefs that no
longer serve. And the harsher energy of lower vibrations where it’s all me, me,
The ego can, with practice, be “softened.” This means that the person is more
peaceful and centered in most situations. This allows them to make more creative and powerful choices.
This leads to more effective action in the world.
The ego is also who you think you are. It’s not your true self, but most of us
subconsciously identify with our name, our job, our family, nation, sex, race, etc. That’s our ego.
It wants to protect itself. Why? Because it’s afraid to die. If you have a belief that is holding you back from what you really want in life but
at the same time it’s apart of your ego, your ego will fight to keep that belief true.
This is because changing the belief and then facing the unknown is like death. That’s why the Death card in tarot is really about transformation.
The real kicker to all this is that the Universe, being the faithful and humble
servant it is, will create that which you believe in. If you believe deep down that
you are not worthy of love, you will attract relationships that reflect this truth back
I know. I know. How to change?
Good News: First of all, it IS POSSIBLE TO CHANGE! I know from both personal
experience, and from many other examples of people who have. It’s a lot like
someone who smokes. They start to realize the habit is not serving them
anymore. It’s actually sabotaging their life both in terms of health and finances.
Not to mention socially. So they try to quit.
They may have to try quitting several times over a few years before they finally get it right and get free from nicotine.
On the other hand, someone else may get it right on the
first attempt. Everyone has their own timetable of receptivity for growth in different areas of their lives.
Same with any beliefs you may have about having a soulmate. You may have to
go through a few broken hearts and dozens of really bad dates, a bad marriage (or two!) before you finally get it.
At this point, your love and happiness and belief in yourself will attract the right person to you very quickly.
We generally go through these setbacks and challenges in order to make ourselves really fed up. Feeling really fed up will give us the determination to finally transform.
However, it’s not absolutely necessary to have to go through all that pain and suffering to finally come out the other side.
If you’re really serious about attracting your soulmate, and willing to do the work,
there are some powerful techniques below that will help you. But you have to be fiercely willing to be honest with yourself.
It’s very easy to get stuck in denial and not see what everybody around us can see so easily when they look at our lives.
(This doesn’t mean everyone around you has your best interest at heart and is
1) Regular Exercise: If you’re already doing this, kudos! You’re on the right track.
The benefits of regular exercise are well documented so I won’t go into it here.
Find something realistic that works for you and that you also enjoy. Don’t go and
kill yourself with something really hard. Build up slowly. But don’t let yourself off
the hook either. Be consistent. Suffice to say it will make you a more positive and
attractive person. ‘Nuff said.
2) Nutrition: You don’t have to be perfect. There’s a lot of information out there
about nutrition. Start reading! We need to take responsibility for ourselves in this
world. Get a coach. Ask people questions.
Try it for yourself to see what works.
Food either nourishes us or it depletes us. Again, find what works for you. A small
stretch from where you are now is all you need to start moving in the right
direction. Again, you’ll feel more energized.
Consequently you’ll look better.
You’re skin and eyes will glow and sparkle. a little bit of body text
You’ll feel more confident.
Oh yeah…drink plenty of clean water. Either from a spring or filtered tap water. Your body needs the minerals.
3) Declutter Your Office and Living Space: Speaks for itself. But it shows the
Universe that you care. You love yourself. You have esteem for yourself. There’s a
balance between being a slob and being a neat freak. Just do your best.
4) Meditate: A lot of people say they don’t like to meditate. Or they don’t know
how. Here’s some news for you. You already meditate! It’s just that you’re not
doing it consciously. Or you’re meditating on how that person gave you a dirty look, cut you off in traffic, etc.
Meditation simply means calming the mind down. Simply observe your breath. Sit
in a comfortable position. Allow your thoughts to come and go, doing your best not to get involved in them.
If you do, direct your attention back to your breath when you notice this.
If this is difficult for you, it is actually pointing out that you need it.
You only need 5 to 10 minutes to start with. Again, it’s about being consistent.
Make it a habit.
There are also guided meditations online. These can be good “training wheels” if you’re new to meditation. Just do an online search — there’s plenty of options out
Here is a guided meditation Mary Rose created. You can download it right now. Click here.
5) Take a Walk In Nature: Just get out and away from the office, the hustle and
bustle. It doesn’t have to be exotic. If you live in a city, a park will do just fine. Just allow yourself to enjoy the rhythm of walking, the breeze and fresh air, flowers,
birds, trees, snow, or whatever is in the environment.
6) Read Personal Development or Spiritual Books: Our minds/egos are very powerful. It takes focused intention to change. Daily reflective reading of these
books even a page or two each day can
really support your transformation. If you already read lots of books, great! It’s either just a matter of time, or maybe you need to apply more of the concepts from the books.
7) Affirmations: The most important affirmations will be that you love and accept
yourself no matter what. You’re doing your best after all. Even when you’ve made “mistakes” they got you to this point in your life. That was the best you could do. Give yourself love!
8) Self Love and Care: On that note, take care of yourself. Get your hair done or
cut regularly. Get your nails done. Organize your wardrobe. Take luxurious baths
and regular showers. You get the idea.
9) Listen To Your Intuition and Act On It: If you incorporate even half of the above
on a regular basis your ability to perceive your intuitive messages clearly will
increase. When you notice signs and intuitions, act on them. Remember, if you
take action and it doesn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, it’s not a failure! It means
there is something you needed to learn to take you to the next stage of manifesting your goal.
Buy a deck of oracle cards. Use them every morning for a month and see if your intuition becomes sharper.
10) Get Honest Feedback From Someone You Trust: We all get stuck in doubt and uncertainty from time to time. If there’s someone in your life who you can trust
to give you unbiased and honest feedback, ask them what they think. This could be a family member, co worker or psychic/spiritual coach and counsellor such as
Other Helpful Healing Modalities:
As Reiki masters and Crystal Healers we’ve of course found both Reiki and
Crystals to be very helpful and supportive with change at deep levels. You may
want to explore these options. If treatments fit your budget, we highly recommend
them. Do your due diligence and check out the practitioners. Better if you know
someone who recommends them.
If your budget doesn’t allow for that right now, no worries. The universe is perfect
and everything does happen for a reason. You are not separate from the events and circumstances of your life.
Get a rose quartz. That’s for love. Many crystals are helpful, but that’s a good place to start. Clear quartz or amethyst are also good to start with. Who knows you may fall in love with crystals and build up a
Final Thoughts, Faith and Surrender: This is perhaps the most important piece of the puzzle. And the one most of us have the most difficulty with.
And that is surrendering the outcome. What does that mean? How do you do that? Especially if your really want someone to be with you in your life? To quote from the George Michael song, you have to have faith. You have to have faith that Life and Divine
Intelligence has your highest good in mind.
If that person is meant to be in your life, they will be. Simple as that. Now does that
mean you don’t phone them or text them? Of course not. But this is where you have to use your own common sense and judgement. Be honest with yourself. If
over time that person has a poor record of responding to you, you have to face some cold hard facts. You have to ask yourself if that is really what you want.
Some call these warning signs or “red flags.” That’s what I mean by surrender. Because if you decide in your heart that you don’t want that, you’ll surrender it to the Universe. And someone better will come along.
Pray. Ask questions. There is a Higher Power that knows the way. For us, it’s our Angels and Guides. Whatever your Higher Power is, contact It.
The answers you are looking for will arrive. You just need to be willing to see them and embrace them when they show up.
You deserve nothing less than someone attractive (to you) who shares your values, your emotional and spiritual maturity, and you have things in common.
Remember, if it doesn’t work out with someone, this is not a failure!
There is no such thing. It is just your own Soul teaching you what you need to know to expand your awareness so that you can go to create your perfect soulmate relationship.
Every time it doesn’t work out, you’re one step closer! Remember, everyone has their own pace and timetable. Some take a few attempts to get it right. Don’t give
up on yourself. Keep learning. Keep reaching. You can do it!
How I Met Mary Rose: David: I went through my own share of broken hearts and “dead end streets” on my journey to finally connect with my eternal soulmate, Mary Rose. We’ve been together 10 years now and I love her more now than I did in our honeymoon phase.
It was a very daunting situation when we met but my guides were very insistent that she was “the one.” On the surface of things, it looked like it would be very difficult to get together. I won’t go into details as it’s personal but it appeared like it would take a miracle.
I prayed everyday!! All day whenever I thought of her. What did I pray for? For her to be in my life if it was in my highest good. This is where lessons from my past
helped me. Because of the pain of those relationships ultimately not working out, I was able to absolutely release on the outcome with Mary Rose. Even though I
knew who she was in my heart. And I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The energy mostly felt very expansive despite how things looked on the surface. Not
contracted or obsessive and unsure.
I trusted and had faith that if my intuition was correct, Life would bring us together.
I was proactive of course. I asked her out. I told her how I felt, etc. I didn’t give up.
I didn’t give up because my guides told me to have faith.
And it worked out. In the past I’d had situations where I didn’t give up because I was being stubborn. I was trying to “force” things in my mind. I wasn’t being
honest with myself with the answers that the Universe was providing me. With Mary Rose, it was a different energy. I relaxed and trusted even though it was
definitely one of the most exciting times of my life.
I hope this little story illustrates to you the difference between “holding on” and “letting go.” Faith and Trust.
Finally, don’t be hard on yourself if you haven’t yet manifested your soulmate. Get
back up and try again! You are no different from anyone else. You can do it too!
I hope you enjoyed this article written by David and found it informative.
Please share with anyone you think could benefit.
And if you’re still lost and hurting with your twin flame relationship, I can help with a reading.
Further Related Reading:
If you would like to download this article on PDF click here.